Thursday, March 08, 2007

Nosy Neighbor, Drunk with Power



The Spirit of Gladys Kravitz lives. You see, I am on the Board of Directors of my Home Owners Association. I am in charge of enforcing HOA rules that pertain to Architectural requirements.


Put it this way, if you live in my neighborhood and are thinking about painting your house purple, you better think again. First off, you should be slapped for even thinking about painting your house purple. Second of all, I'm Sherrif in these here parts, and the rules don't cotton to a purple house....This role is great for me, due to my background in law enforcement. See the entry from 8/29/06, for example.


It's been a bumpy ride so far. Like the time the rest of the Board voted down my idea for equipping our group with badges, windbreakers, and Ray Bans. Then, there was the time the HOA President asked me to stop hiding in bushes with binoculars. Or, the time I had my impromptu July 4th Parade, in which I wore a Sash and waved at people, while being pulled on a red wagon by The Girls.

All in all, I've gotten used to the life of a Public Figure and kept my nose clean. I haven't accepted any bribes and have only been involved in a couple minor scandals. I'd like to clear up one thing though: I no longer intend to carry out my Coup d'état. I've decided to let Democracy win out. Know this though: If you ever pick up a can of purple paint or hang a dollhouse mail box, you'll be on the wrong side of The Law and experience my brand of JUSTICE. I will CRUSH you! just kidding, kind of..

No comments: