Aimee's Big Adventure

Aimee, tonight, was attempting to initiate conversation. She said:

"Why don't you tell me about your big butt?"

Then she laughed.

Evidently, she has Rain Man recolection of Pee Wee's Big Adventure (movie).

See the last line uttered of this quick video.

House of Pain Part Deux

In a previous post, I informed the reader about my cousin George. The Gist of the post is that the Rap Group, House of Pain, is making a come back (I called it a come back, so don't say don't). They are now known as La Coka Nostra. Well, they have a video out.

I found it on youtube. I won't post it here due to the graphic lyrics, because I try to keep it clean while I keep it real.

That's not to say that I don't think it's wiggity wack like the bozak (I like it). It's neat. Especially since I was a HUGE fan of House of Pain back in the day.

Which actually brings up a small story. Long ago, there were always a lot of street vendors in downtown DC. They would sell everything: wallets, clothing, hats, tee shirts, etc. My Dad used to buy ties and hats on the street all the time. This would be his indulgence. He has a baseball cap collection that numbers over 500..at least. If aliens ever study our species thousands of years from now and use my Dad as an example, they will most surely come to the conclusion that humans were not able to sustain themselves unless they covered the top of their heads with an cloth piece with a U Shaped cylinder sticking out.

My Dad came home one day and showed me his latest treasure find:

Dad: Hey, look at this fine Irish Baseball Cap I bought on the street!

Me: uh, Dad, do you know that your hat is not Irish, but represents a white rap group?

He chose to believe what the hat meant to him. Little did he know he was probably the only House of Pain fan over the age of 60.

Anyway, if you want to see the video, you can go on youtube and search:

La Coka Nostra - "That's Coke"

My favorite part is George's reference to "Paris, Nicole, Lindsay and Britney."

Warning: The lyrics are very blue. Don't say I didn't warn you. George is Rapper NUMBER two in the video. Oh, I mean Slaine, not George.

Family Ties

I just learned that Aimee is a very far removed descendant of General Robert E. Lee on her Mom's side of the family. Her relation is to his cousin, Samantha Jane something or other. Interesting.

She asked me today, who I am related to, insinuating no one. I said 'Darby O'Gill.' In truth, I am a descendant of John Rogers, who was a Union Soldier in the Civil War and is buried at Arlington National Cemetery, which is Robert E. Lee's House. I am always surprised to learn that most people don't know that Arlington Cemetery is is really his house. Or was his house.

Another factoid is Aimee's Dad's side of the family, who is related to the Dalton Gang.

History is interesting. Anyway, I was looking for a specific scene from Darby O'Gill (dance song scene to post here) where they are seen break dancing...or that's how I saw it when I was a kid.

I couldn't find it but I did find the following intense Boston Irish Anthem. Ya know, history and all.

Today is the first day of Spring. Enjoy it.

Happy St. Patrick

If you drink and drive today, then may the Luck of the Irish be as far away from you as possible. Oh Begora Yes.

On another note, here is the new home of our friends Vincent and Anne-Laure, who just move to Paris, France. Bien Travail, les habitantes!

Lastly, if the invention below goes to Market, I am getting it.

Governer of New York's Alias

If you read the news, you know the Governor of New York just got busted for soliciting prostitution. The name he chose as an alias was George Fox. I am not schooled on the process of hiring prostitutes, but I guess it's common to use an alias. George Fox is the name of my oldest brother's high school friend. I just thought I'd clear the air with you on this. My brother's high school friend did not solicit a prostitute, AKA a "ho."

Actually, he runs a watch company. I have one of his (George Fox) watches. It is great. I chose the "Blok" watch (tan band). Check it out. I wore it a lot..until Aimee got me a watch for my B-Day (I'm old). It's a titanium Swiss Army watch...nice.

Anyway, I am disappointed by the Governor. I thought he was doing a great job. Though Wall Street Crooks are clinging glasses right now, I still think that what the Gov. did was not as nearly as bad as inside trading. Thieves.

Like Superheroes only Different

Last Year, I wrote about one of my parents three dogs named CHICO. The post is basically how Chico, a dog, is the Child Who Would Be President that my parents never had. It's a marvelous tale about a dog outshining human siblings..and two other dog siblings.

Well low and behold, if that little Chico hasn't lived up to his billing. He's special. He and my Mom are written up in a local newspaper. It's really a great story. Not only does it detail their efforts in helping children read, it also provides a brief history of the Rogers family in Maryland. Unfortunately, it's not all ice cream and bubble gum. But then again, neither is life. But then again..again...life is good. Very good.

Click Here to read the story. It is on page 14. Good Job Chico and Mom. We are very proud of you.

Nikolai Lives

About a month ago, I posted about Nikolai Volkoff. If you want some background, click here.

This morning, I arrived in Timonium, Maryland, for one of my visits. About fifteen minutes into the day, I see the woman who owns the gym above the office where I often visit. I didn't think too much of it, so I basically ignored her since I do not work there every day. I would let someone else handle her question. Then I heard it:

Nikolai is here.

Nikolai Freaking Volkoff. To most, this means nothing. To me, this means a lot. I watched this guy EVERY Saturday morning when I was a kid.

At first, it seemed that the guys at the office were a little shy. No one was making his way across the long office. I immediately thought that an awkward moment was about to present itself. The gym owner had said she'd bring Nikolai down when he returned from Iraq (visiting the troops). Now the time had come. He was in the office and no one moved. I jumped from my chair and walked quickly across the room.

"Hi, I am Matt. It is very nice to meet you. I watched you all the time when I was younger (I didn't say 'when I was a kid' cause I didn't want him to feel old). Thanks for coming down to see us. I am a very big fan of yours."

Twenty seconds later, he was surrounded by everyone in the office. He had a couple of jokes which landed and happily answered questions from the fellas. Any hint of awkwardness was out the door.

He looked old, but still strong. Sixty years old and can probably throw me across the room with one arm.

He took pictures with all of us. The gym owner had a camera. I didn't trust that I'd actually get the photo, so I had my friend Mike take a one with my crappy cell phone.


Within an hour, she sent us her photos.

If you know who Rick Astley is..

Rick Astley sounds like a neighborhood kid who is good at wiffleball.

In reality, he is a singer from the 80's/90's. If you have never heard of him, stop here. If you HAVE heard of him, check out the following nifty Pie Chart for all the things Rick Astley would never do to you.

If you know who Right Said Fred is, then you know the "I'm Too Sexy" song. They made a Pie Chart for them too.

Two Things that Made Us Laugh Today

1.) I was up and down the stairs and Aimee was watching the local News. As I walked into the living room, the News Reader was talking about some sort of local crime. I am not sure what the perp did or to whom, but the very last sentence was something like this:

Witnesses say the assailant was around (x) feet tall and possesses a very large right ear.

Maybe it was the way it was said, but we both busted out laughing. It was very random. Anyway, to help authorities, I drew a sketch in case you come across this villain. Click here to see.

2.) On the same news program, Aimee heard about The Pope coming to DC (Nationals Stadium).

She jokingly asked me:

Are you getting tickets to The Pope?

I had to ask her three times to repeat herself. When I finally understood, I said:

I don't know. Who's opening up for him?

I do know this. There is only ONE entity who could ever 'open up' for The Pope. See video below if you are interested.

My Job

My parents don't know what I do for a living so I thought I would explain. This stems from a phone call my mother had with a second cousin who asked what I do. All she knew is that it had something to do with computers. No problem Mom.

I am a 'project lead' or 'project manager' for website development. Say you want to create a website. There are a lot of pieces to the puzzle: How it will look, how the information is laid out on the pages (this is more important than you may think), how it functions, how it is made (what computer language you use to develop functionality), how a database is structured and what information is stored, where and how the website is stored, etc. etc. and ergo epsum.

I manage all of that stuff. I am sure it sounds boring to a lot of people. For whatever reason, I thoroughly enjoy it. I've thought about it: What's a fella who leans towards History, Political Science, Sociology and all those other liberal arts subjects, doing making websites? I think it has to do with the fact that I am not very detail-oriented while a website must be. Aimee loves to kid me about my lack of noticing details. On the other hand, she never kids me about getting things done.

If one, tiny, minute detail is incorrect, a whole website can malfunction. I look at it this way: the website helps me do my job. If there is a problem, nothing progresses until that problem is fixed. I know enough about the Internet to distinguish the problem, so all I need to do is contact the person who must fix it. This person can be one of many different people. Instead of shooting an email (or calling or asking in person) to all these many different people, I send it to one person. I try to do as much homework on the issue so that the person who's responsible for fixing it has a lot of information and says to him or herself: no problem.

The above was the basic version. I could go into more detail but I don't like to bore. So, Mom, that's what I do.

Speculation on Getting Older

Occasionally, I will have Instant Message exchanges with my oldest brother. Yesterday, we were talking about me having a family one day. He knows that Aimee and I want to have children. While I am married and intend to have children, he is unmarried. Sometimes we enjoy giving each other a hard time for no other reason than the fact that we are brothers. So today, I was speculating on him at age 53 while he did the same for me.

Below is mid-exchange of our chat. Of course I censored a bit as this is a PG rated blog. Keep in mind we are making fun of each other and believe this is a fine age. Fifty is the new thirty anyway. It's not about the age as much as zinging one's brother.

Brother: you will be talking some punk out of getting his nose pierced
"I hate you Dad!!!!"
Me: While you'll be talking to a chair..

Brother: "Hey Dad, get borrow money....for some Crystal?"
Me: Your best friend will be a box of Cheerios

Brother: "Dad, I have feelings for the other boys"
Me: your neighbors will bring you meals on wheels

The Next exchange is censored.
.
Brother: you get to teach a kid how to go poopy!
Me: you get to have someone teach you how to go poopy in a diaper.

Brother: that fate awaits us all
Me: true

Robots Can Help with Dogs

Every morning I (Matt) wake up and feed our dogs, then take them for a walk. The following video gave me some ideas. But then again, I would need a life-sized vehicle to achieve the same results.

Julie's Wine Blog

Aimee's friend Julie has a new blog about Wine. She knows a lot about wine. I don't.

She is a sommelier at a Restaurant named Ran Azul. Ran Azul is a very good Tapas Restaurant located in Howard County Maryland. This part of Maryland is very beautiful and wealthy. There are a lot of horse farms, big houses and rich people. With your meal, Julie will arrive at your table and tell you what wine goes with what food. Izzz Nyyezz!

I like Wine. I pretty much like everything about it. I don't drink that much though. I was just speaking about it with Aimee. I really really enjoy wine or beer but I seldom partake (any more). The main reason is lifestyle, I suppose. If I won the lottery and didn't have to work, and hung around people who enjoyed wine a lot, I imagine that I too would enjoy the spirits.

Enough about me. Here's her blog. And if you are ever in Clarkesville, MD, check out the restaurant. Good Luck with your blog and restaurant Julie.

Valentines Day

Within the first month of meeting Aimee, I learned a peculiar (to me) predilection of hers: She loves Broadway Musicals from the 1950's. I learned this on a Sunday afternoon, when she became overly excited because Seven Brides for Seven Brothers was on TV. It had a tough looking Lumberjack as the lead so how bad could it be? About five minutes later I learned how it could be when a group of "lumberjacks" in multicolored outfits started dancing and singing. It was absolutely ridiculous..and Aimee loved it. That day was probably the 37th time she had seen it.

She also loves pretty much loves all of Rodgers and Hammerstein productions, including The Sound of Music and Oklahoma! (exclamation point is part of the title). For The Sound of Music, she is quite talented at singing the song that all the Children sing at the Ball (or whatever it's called) before they go to bed: Good night, farewell, Adieu adieu adieu and all that nonsense. One by one, the children roll out of the party with their special "good night." One boy in particular reaches an octave so high that dogs cover their ears. Aimee can't quite reach that level but she sure tries..and tries..then laughs..then tries again. If you want to know what I am talking about, the song is below and our special little guy does his thing at about minute 1:40. It comes out of nowhere and is really quick so pay attention.



So, why am I writing about this? Because for Valentines Day, I gave her a DVD set of Rodgers and Hammerstein: The Sound of Music / The King and I / Oklahoma! / South Pacific / State Fair / Carousel.

Our dogs are already looking for places to hide when the music starts blaring.

I also got her the movie "Once" which is a musical without the high octaves, prancing and tidy clothing. It's set in Ireland. A song from the movie is below. I hear it's good. We shall see.

Neat Youtube Video for Obama

After the Democratic primaries in New Hampshire, Barak Obama gave a speech. A guy named "Will I Am" from a musical group called "The Black Eyed Peas" became inspired.

So much so, that he made the speech into song and had himself and other famous people sing along at the same moment with the same lines as Barak. I (Matt) found it a bit inspiring and at the least interesting. Plus, it has Scarlett Johansen, who is a {censored censored}. I was a bit embarrassed watching some of the histrionics but like the idea overall. Does it change my mind on anything? Not necessarily. I have to learn more about him. He does seem quite presidential though.



Now, someone needs to make a video for Hillary and McCain.

McCain's video could be set to the music of GI Joe, a Real American Hero.



Hillary's, to the Golden Girls:



Bill Clinton?



George Bush (My Favorite vid......on this post)



Okay, I'll stop. One last one for Dick Cheney, because deep down inside, he's gotta have a heart.

Chicken Running

In 1990, I visited my brother Tim at his home base in St. Croix, USVI. He picked me and my friend up at the airport and we proceeded to drive off. It was just our group in an old, giant convertible, out on a quiet, two-lane road. We were surrounded by lush tress, where it was tough for the sun to poke through.

Suddenly, a wild chicken bolted in front of the car, running as fast as it's chicken legs could go. It was as if he was late for a job interview or was trying to catch a flight. A chicken flight, if you will.

As soon as we passed, Tim screamed out the following words in desperate and pleading tone:

WHYYYYYY DID YOU DO IT?????

I laughed.

Our French friends are leaving

A while back, I wrote a post about how our French friends are leaving Maryland to return to their homeland. The next day, I received a feverish call from Anne-Laure, Vincent's wife. She called to ask that I remove the post because Vincent was afraid that his co-workers would see it and their secret out. Even though I know few people read this blog and the chances of any of Vincent's co-workers learning of their departure were between 00.0 and 0.05, I changed the post to unreadable French thanks to Google language translator:

You can view it here. If you're curious about what it says, I posted the translation at the bottom of this post. Keep in mind it went from English to French, then back to English. I other words, it's goofy.

Now everyone knows they are leaving. Vincent's last day at his job is Friday and they're off in a couple of weeks. They are making all their arrangements like moving stuff and selling cars. They're even scoping out apartments in Gey Paree.

I told Vincent today (we had lunch together), that since he's moving back to France he must change his blog, which is now in French (a Frenchman in DiCi), to English so I can keep up on what's happening with them. He replied: yes, I could title it "A Frenchman in Paris." Maybe you had to be there, but the irony of a French person writing about his experiences in his own country, from a global perspective, is rather amusing. Anyway, I hope he does. I will miss that Leche Cul Encule. He taught me a lot.....of naughty French words.

I am not, on the surface, a very emotional person. I am especially uncomfortable with man-on-man affection. This is one of the few times I can say that I am genuinely saddened and appreciative at the same time. It's a rare kind of sadness because though it's an end to a chapter, the next one will most certainly be more exciting than the previous. This sentiment is not foreign to me. I imagine he's experiencing similar thoughts that I expressed here, recently.

As far as the "appreciative" part above, I am thankful to have made such a great friend. I don't have too many friends, but the few ones I have are friends for life. So don't lose touch, baiseur, and don't forget your English because I don't have time to learn your language except for the bad words. I would say "Good Luck" but there's no such thing. Even if there were such a thing as good luck, you don't need it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Translation:

French:

Désolé Vincent. J'aurais pensé de la possibilité de voir les personnes nouvelles. Qui aurait WebFirst à regarder notre blog?

Quoi qu'il en soit, félicitations. Comme je vous l'ai dit auparavant, vous pourriez un jour bientôt éprouver les mêmes sensations je faire lorsque vous imiter mon accent américain. Préparez-vous, Super Leche Cul.

Vous permettra de ne plus se moquer de votre patrie d'adoption et ses habitants. Angry Quand les Français critiquent, vous, attention à l'horizon et une larme se déroulera votre joue, en pensant à Baja Fresh et Sam Adams. Je sais ces choses-là.

English:

Sorry Vincent. I would have thought the opportunity to see the new people. Who would WebFirst watching our blog?

Anyway, congratulations. As I said earlier, you may one day soon experience the same feeling I do when you imitate my American accent. Prepare yourself, Super Leche Cul.

You will no longer make fun of your adopted home and its inhabitants. Angry French critics When you look at the horizon and tears will run your plays, thinking about Baja Fresh and Sam Adams. I know these things.

Favorite Superbowl commercial

I (Matt) liked the following commercial the best.

Nikolai Volkoff

As a kid, I (Matt) used to watch professional wrestling every Saturday morning. Then, would practice the moves by jumping on to the bed with one, semi-furious elbow. I put a lot of pain into that bed.

One of the "Villains" who wrestled was named Nikolai Volkoff. He was an Evil Soviet who was most famous for singing the Soviet National Anthem before a match. There must have been thousands of other ten year old kids who could sing the Soviet National Anthem.

So, why is this of note? Because we'll be neighbors. Well, not house neighbors, office neighbors. There's a gym opening above the office where I often work, North of Baltimore and he'll be one of the trainers.

When he sees me, I may be sporting the same outfit he wears in the following classic video. Except mine will be purple and I will ridicule him in Vietnamese instead of Russian. Get a load of the OTHER guy in the video. Blondie says he has ten thousand dollars to pay Nikolai so he'll break another wrestler's arm. I think he should pocket the ten large, get a haircut and put on some pants. And watch Blondie totally haul off and punch Nikolai's chest at minute 1:20. That's the kind of force only my childhood bed knows.

A photo album of Aimee's car, by Mont. County government

Our local government Montgomery County has a great service. They actually take pictures of your car and create a photo album. They then send you a notice in the mail with login information so you can see it. That's swell of them, right? Not when you learn that it's because you've been speeding.

I thought it was a shame to waste such nice photos, so you can take a look at their work below:



I wish I could find out how they center a picture so well because I have no ability when it comes to this skill. From the looks of the picture, it does not appear that the car was speeding. It looks like I pulled in that little area and slowed down so the camera could take the best shot. I could argue that in court, justified by the fact that I think Aimee's car is Style-ing and the automatic picture taking computer went crazy for a moment in awe of it and just had to snap some pics. Or I could just pay the fine and move on because I don't have the free time. Plus, I learned long ago that it's a rough go if you ever try to fight The Man.

Oh well, I guess that's why the guys at the Car Club call me The Cruiser. If you get this movie reference and your first name is not Patrick, then I have a dollar and a high five for you.