Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Our Family (humans only in this one)

My Alma Mater (High School)

Haven't posted much lately (Stella is sick), but I found this interesting. My old high school is in the news.

Funny thing is..I know the exact camera that is used in the story below is this one.




Maryland Students Use Speed Cameras for Revenge
Students in Montgomery County, Maryland use fake license plates to send speed camera tickets to enemies.

High school students in Maryland are using speed cameras as a tool to fine innocent drivers in a game, according to the Montgomery County Sentinel newspaper. Because photo enforcement devices will automatically mail out a ticket to any registered vehicle owner based solely on a photograph of a license plate, any driver could receive a ticket if someone else creates a duplicate of his license plate and drives quickly past a speed camera. The private companies that mail out the tickets often do not bother to verify whether vehicle registration information for the accused vehicle matches the photographed vehicle.

In the UK, this is known as number plate cloning, where thieves will find the license information of a vehicle similar in appearance to the one they wish to drive. They will use that information to purchase a real license plate from a private vendor using the other vehicle's numbers. This allows the "cloned" vehicle to avoid all automated punishment systems. According to the Sentinel, two Rockville, Maryland high schools call their version of cloning the "speed camera pimping game."

A speed camera is located out in front of Wootton High School, providing a convenient location for generating the false tickets. Instead of purchasing license plates, students have ready access to laser printers that can create duplicate license plates using glossy paper using readily available fonts. For example, the state name of "Maryland" appears on plates in a font similar to Garamond Number 5 Swash Italic. Once the camera flashes, the driver can quickly pull over and remove the fake paper plate. The victim will receive a $40 ticket in the mail weeks later. According to the Sentinel, students at Richard Montgomery High School have also participated, although Montgomery County officials deny having seen any evidence of faked speed camera tickets.

Daughter in the water

The Christmas Tree

Ah, the Holidays..

Give Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving. I am unable to express the sentiment, so the video below will do.

About a month ago, Aimee and I were taking care of Stella on a Saturday morning, watching Sundance channel. As our program ended another began. It was a documentary about an Icelandic band, traveling home to provide free concerts for locals in remote locations. As the documentary started, we weren't paying attention at all. It began with music, with a voice I thought belonged to a woman. I actually said aloud, "this music is good!" We got hooked on the first song. After agreeing to watch it, we went downstairs to the HD TV. The documentary blended in scenes from Iceland, including a lot of the local folk. With Stella asleep (before we learned she was sleep averse), we proceeded to watch the whole movie in stunned silence. It was beautiful. So, here is a song, performed by Sigur Ros, at a small community center in some tiny town. The music is soothing and shows locals of every age. As you watch (if you watch), think of the things for which you are thankful.

Email from Wife

Aimee emailed me this picture today.

The only text the message contained said "not Stella," in case I was not able to distinguish this upon viewing the image.

The Hot Hand

I imagine that since my parents are now grandparents, that I am reminded of my own grandparents. Recently, I remembered the story of the Hot Hand. The owner of the Hot Hand is my mother's father, Ambrose Clifford. Ambrose was around until I reached 14 years of age. I only knew my grandfather as a frail, delicate man with white wisps of hair. I can remember his voice at this moment as if he had just said something five minutes ago: it was a throaty whisper, so quiet that a young kid needed to strain to understand. This is usually how my conversations went with him when I was seven years old:

Him: You studying hahd? (with Boston Accent...so soft, I could barely hear him)


Me: Uhhhh..what?

Him: With more effort, yet less volume, a bit frustrated: You studying hhhaahhhd???

Me (even more confused): Duu...huh?

This would evolve further until his facial expression read "What the frig is wrong with this kid?"

Then, his wife Mary (my grandmother, whos voice could drown out war sirens), would get in my face and yell/say ....

"Maaathew..your Grandfathah is talking to you! He wants to know if you ah study-ing, HAAAAHD! ANSAH him!"

Me traumatized: oh..yeh-yes...

(of course I wasn't studying hard)

Anyway, Ambrose was not afraid to bust out The Hot Hand when he thought I was getting out of line. Keep in mind, I was a shy enough kid that I didn't even talk much, let alone get out of line. I guess maybe if I pleaded for some sort of food, The Hot Hand would come into play.

I would be sitting in the backseat of the car and say something like: "Can I have an ice cream?"

Answer: No.

Me: Ahhhh...why not?

Now, I did not scream, throw a tantrum, cause a ruckus or even whine (I think). I just asked a follow up question. A follow up question, I imagine, was a serious violation. Either my mother or grandmother would warn me: "You better be careful or Grandpa will get out the hot hand."

As I sat in the back of the car, I would look forward to the front seat, with my grandfather on the passenger side. On queue, I would see his ancient hand move high in the air, with fingers extended, as the Hot Hand blocked out the sun streaming through the windshield, ready to inflict horror on little seven year old boys.

I never asked the follow up question to learn its wrath. The threat alone was enough.

Okay, now I'm gonna go eat some ice cream. :)

Five weeks old

Little Lady Stella is doing quite well, aside from a minor rash on her face. She is five weeks old and growing quite nicely. Even though she is too young to smile, she can communicate (or at least mimic). When I stick out my tounge, she sticks hers out right away..fun:)

What time are your parents picking you up

Since Aimee and I only have one car at the moment, I have reverted to something that I haven't done since the age of 15: call my parents for a ride. At least two days a week, I travel to Alexandria Virginia by Metro (subway). Lately, I have been calling both of my parents for rides. I cannot imagine what my coworkers think when I call and say: "Hey Dad/Mom, can you pick me up from the Metro?"

Next, I think I will ask for a ride to the Mall to see if that works.

Hmmm..

The ladies in their Halloween gear

Do you think we overdid it a little for Halloween?

Hey what is that. Come on people, I gotta diaper that needs changin. Chop Chop.

Why are you looking at me as if someone spray painted me for Halloween?

Did you really have to paint my nails a pumpkin color?

That's right. It says "I love my Mummy." Get it?

Even though we would like to take credit for all of the festive gear, it's really not our doing. Aimee's mom and best friend from childhood sent several costumes-all of which Stella was not completely cooperative to model for us! At least we got a couple.

As far as the dogs, we have a long history of our local Kennel taking decorative liberties after bathing our dogs. The ladies took many photos of Darla and Ginny and even sent them to their corporate office. They called me mid-day to ask if I minded if they paint the dogs' nails. Of course not. I told them to do whatever they wanted as long as nothing gets tracked around our house. So far so good:)

Lost Cat Sign/Pic

Stella's First Bath

The little lady behaved graciously during her first bath. What a comfortable lass.

Yep, I'm kinda comfy just about now.

Can someone dry my hair?

That was interesting. Can you get that camera out of my face please?

A Mother's Love

Although I am experiencing feelings that I've never felt before, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about my own mother. My parents have 4 children and Stella is their first grandchild. The Saturday that we came home from the hospital my mother and sister Emily flew in from Houtson and Chicago, respectively. They spent the next few days comforting and supporting us in our new world.

Today I found a sheet of paper folded in quarters. Almost every corner of that piece of paper was covered with menus for each day, grocery lists for those menus, lists of baby things (diapers, wipes, swaddles, etc, etc, etc), cleaning supplies and so on. Every task was checked off as completed. Each day my mother would wake up before 7am and begin a day of nonstop cooking, cleaning, shopping and support to a frassled new mother. My sister ran errands and spent her day working around our house. When I say I could not have gotten through the first week without them, it is no exaggeration. The simple thought that they were downstairs and available for advice, a hug or an extra arm was a comfort that I never anticipated. My mother and I have always had a very close relationship but I had no idea what she and my sister meant to me until they totally gave of themselves in order to make life easier for us.

Thank you's are almost not enough. I hope that one day I can be there for my sister, along with my mother and share in her own joy. For now, thank you is all I can say. A thousand times, thank you!! I love you both!!!

Aimee

Youtube Gifts

Yesterday I had the following objective: Set up security for our home wireless environment.

Without being a technical lad..or even detail oriented, I use the power of the Internets to help me. Lacking technical ability (but also lacking fear), I often set out on 'how to' goals with the help of youtube. Youtube has a million tutorials on how to do basically anything. I will demonstrate with a test. The first thing that pops in my mind right now:

How to Skate Backwards.

(leaving here for a moment, going to youtube)

I am back. Took me two seconds. See here.

Not only did I find it in two seconds, I have a new catch phrase: "Et ezn't impassaball!" This guys accent is great. See first three seconds of above vid and you'll understand.

Back to yesterday's goal. Of course I found a 'how to' on wireless security in two seconds. While watching the tutorial, I noticed that there was country song in the background of the video. I kinda like it. It is similar to most country songs as it mentions love, alchohol, God, trucks, and a country music state like Tenessee for example (this one has two: Oklahoma and West Virginia). Of course, the words are syrupy and sometimes goofy. For example:

"Like Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs a rain" (from the song I heard)

Anyway I researched the song. The song is "I Need You" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. It has a lot of similes as seen above. It is hokey, not too deep, and does not always make sense. I am no music snob though. Sometimes you need a country song.

Here is the original tutorial. . I view it as unintended performance art, with the way the screen changes as the music plays.

If you want to hear a better copy (sound-wise) of the song, here you go:



The question remains. Did I set up wireless security for our house? Well, I tried. I also messed up our router so that no one in our house could access the Internet. I then spent the next three hours trying to fix this mistake. After attempting five different solutions and a lame call with Comcast (Mr. Technical Service Rep, you are lay-zee), I reached the point of frustration to seriously consider going to Best Buy to purchase a new router. Before doing so, I called the help line for the router. A nice young fella in India told me "Everything's going to be okay" (like a country music song?) and helped me fix everything.

Don't call her "Nana" or "Grandma"

Here is the mother of the father of Stella, with Stella. Wouldn't it just be easier to say "Nana" or "Grandma?" Well, no. So, the search is on for a replacement name. I told my mother that the issue is not too crucial because Stella doesn't speak English....yet. She is less than a week old, so I think the issue will resolve itself ultimately.

Welcome Little Girl Stella

She's here! Little Baby Stella. The past few days have been nuts, but not without underlying Joy.

Here is Stella. I will try to write more later. Three hours of sleep does not induce chattiness...or clarity..

One small thing though. Yesterday was her first day home. We brought her up the stairs and Aimee prepared to nurse her in the Baby Room. Aimee has a docking station for Ipod and plugged in for background music. Here is what was playing in the background and her first song. Not too mushy. Just sweet-sounding.

Baby Waiting

Looks like Lil' Miss does not want to come out yet. Today is the due date. We are ready though!

Local High School Football

On Friday Night, Aimee and I attended a local football game between last year's Maryland 4A and 3A State Champions. Quince Orchard barreled through Damascus 38-3.

It seems High School Football never changes. There are the parents, younger children not paying attention to the game, giggly girls and high school boys trying to look tough.




Plus, they have Italian Ice....

Hurrican Ike's Strange Effect on Animals

Evidently, a Chicken Mutated into a Super Beast and hitched a ride to a live CNN Shoot:



Next, A bear gets lost and wanders towards the Texas Coast during the hurricane.

The Last Baby Class

Last night, Aimee and I attended our last baby class. I am now certified in the art of wiping someone else's butt.

Little Stella should join us soon...

The Wrong Advice

So I read this article in the Washington Post last weekend:

--Surviving the Storm. Downsizing. Buyouts. Layoffs. In some fields the job market is getting nasty. It's time to adopt a few strategies to avoid getting cut -- or bounce back quickly if you do.-- (if you need a username/pw, go to www.bugmenot.com)

I intentionally refrain from derogatory commentary about anyone and anything on this blog because

a.) It's not good form

b.) Anything you write on the Internets is basically public record. You don't want to write something with emotion only to regret it later.

c.) Judgements/criticism imply weakness. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill didn't become how they are know by saying stuff like "Who he think he is! He ain't all that!"

Anyway, I was surprised to read this article. There was a lot of common sense, I mean good advice, in it but there was one published writer quoted who threw me back a bit.

.....But that's just the beginning of your labors, said Stephen Viscusi, author of the new book, "Bulletproof Your Job: 4 Simple Strategies to Ride Out the Rough Times and Come Out on Top at Work." (Collins Business, $19.95). You need to make sure you are the employee the boss most wants to keep.

In sometimes crude terms, his book spells out the particulars of effective ingratiation. "It's all about creating the illusion of working hard and getting along with your boss, and a little old-fashioned ass-kissing or brown-nosing," he said.

His four-part strategy (be visible, be easy, be useful, be ready) is equal parts mom and Machiavelli. It's not always what you want to hear."

Now, I have no problems with brown-nosing, but "creating the illusion of working hard?" Sorry Mr. Stephen Viscusi, but you are encouraging the slackers. I don't know about you, but most people can spot an "illusionist" a mile away.

I was speaking with my friend Vincent who's sister-in-law lived in Japan. Evidently, it is a source of pride to be the first one into work at like 6:00 a.m. First one in, and last to leave. She also said that these same people open up the newspaper and read it until 8:30 am. When I started working after college, there was a gentleman in my office who 'worked' like 12 hours a day but did maybe three hours of actual work. I think he spent the remaining nine hours telling people how busy he was.

Anyway, enough of the criticism. I wanna know who I think I is.

Buster The Beer Drinking Pig

My brother Tim is on Facebook. I noticed that he previously had as is default profile photo, Buster The Beer Drinking Pig (or one of his descendants). Now, he has graduated to other pigs..



Who is Buster The Beer Drinking Pig you ask? In the middle of the Jungle near Tim's home, St. Croix, there is a bar named The Domino Club. The bar is famous for it's beer drinking pigs. In 1991, I went to visit Tim and saw for myself. You pull up a driveway and you actually feel like you are approaching someone's house (in the jungle) rather than a bar. The bar is tiny and there are dogs and cats wandering about.

The attraction is "Buster the Beer Drinking Pig." You order a beer, then give it to Buster. Buster takes the beer (can) from you, hoists it up, pokes a hole through it with his huge tusk and swigs it down. When I visited Buster, it was two pm in the afternoon. All I saw in the cage was about 200 empty beer cans and a one-thousand pound pig, laying down in the corner, passed out. Stone drunk. Evidently for Buster, every hour was cocktail hour.

Since then, Buster is now downing beers in heaven and his descendants are the star attraction. Since it is no longer politically correct to promote alcoholism in pigs, they are now served non-alcoholic beer (ODouls).

Here's to you Buster!

Baby Room Coming Together

Lookin good!

New Favorite Song

I was cleaning the kitchen this fine evening with the headphones on and surfing the radio when I hit this song. I liked it immediately. Never heard it before. Then I learned it's by Weezer. They are great. If you are a big Weezer fan and know this song and think I'm behind the times, well, you're right. It's new to me though. Don't worry, you're cool and I'm not.

I laughed here:

You wanted arts and crafts?
How's this for arts and crafts?
(guitar solo)
(That's Right!)

And chucked here:

Marryin' a bi-yatch,
Havin' Seven ki-yads,
Givin' up and growin' old,
And hopin' there's a god.

So give it a listen and learn by studying the lessons in your dreams

Ginny on a Friday

A dog's life indeed...our dogs like to relax...

My Brother's TV Show

My (Matt) brother has a new TV Show. It's called "Real Interrogations." It is on a new Discovery Channel called "Investigation Discovery."

It basically tells a story of murder while focusing on the Interrogation, using the real footage. Pat (brother) is also the narrator. He e-nun-cee-ates dramatically because you have to do this as a narrator. Aimee and I watched both shows (Tuesdays at 9:00 pm).

It's a good show! I think it's his best one yet. So, if you are flipping the channels on a Tuesday evening at 9 pm and want to see a good show, check it out.

Preggers Pics

Preggers Pics. Taken yesterday. Aimee and I were all dudded up and stopped by for my sister's bday afterwards.







Today, we took a tour of the Maternity Ward. It's getting closer!

Baby Room Shaping Up

Say goodbye to Office and Hello to...Baby Room








By the way..we have a name..

Stella!

Ernie Tee Shirt

This evening, Aimee was watching one of her favorite shows, John and Kate plus eight, a TV show about a married couple with a set of twins and sextuplets. During this episode, the whole family visited Sesame Place, an amusement park in Pennsylvania. Due to the fact I am currently reading a book about a Professor's years of experience studying baboons in the wild of Africa, watching the show (for a moment) brought to mind a childhood experience involving summer camp and an Ernie Tee Shirt.

The book is tiled A Primate's Memoir and documents the author's years in Kenya studying baboons as a graduate student. The chapters alternate between describing observations of a troop of baboons and the wildly different culture in Africa than that of his life in the United States.

How does this all relate?

When I was around six years old, I went to a summer camp. On one fateful day, my mother laid out an Ernie Tee Shirt to wear. To three-year olds at the time, Ernie and Bert were bigger than The Beatles. For a six or seven year old, wearing an Ernie and Bert Tee Shirt was like break dancing at a funeral...a major faux pas. Had I sported a Star Wars or Dukes of Hazard Tee Shirt, I would have been safe. I didn't know any better. All I knew was that I needed to wear a shirt, period. Actually, had my mother not laid out any clothes, I probably would have been fine leaving the house in just socks and sneakers. I would probably have been more comfortable anyway (during that hot summer) with the exception of sitting on the Yellow School Bus seat.

Anyway, I was the lowest baboon on the totem pole that day. I was encircled by mini-baboons (I mean children) and ridiculed without mercy. I actually didn't even know I had a big target (I mean "Ernie") on my chest until I got on the school bus. This lasted the whole day. I found this puzzling, as I never actually paid attention to what other kids wore. I only noticed pretty girls and kids who smelled bad. That day taught me that that you have to pay attention what to the clothes you wear...I finally caught on at some point..I think it was when I reached 30..maybe a few years before . After that day, I bid farewell to my Ernie Tee Shirt. Good-bye, old friend. We had a good Go of it, you and me. No disrespect to you, my brothah. It's just the times, man. You dig? I'll keep rockin if you keep rockin. Good luck, Broseph.

Baby Lil'

Baby Lil' is our little girl's Rap Name. Simple. Descriptive. Telling.

Aimee's Rap Name: Momma Lil'.

We have two dogs, so why not give them Rap Names as well:

Ginny: 4Eva Baby. Because she'll always be our baby. She'll never grow up and go to college or Beauty School or whatever.

Darla: Lil' D. Just sounds good.

Me? Em Ro'. Same configuration as J Lo. Don't be fooled by the rocks I don't got. Used to have a little..now I have a little..so on and so forth..

EMAIL ADJUSTMENTS

If you happen to have an address for me in ANY of your contact lists with my email address minus the 'S', REMOVE THAT ADDRESS. It is going to the incorrect person who does not appreciate receiving my emails.

While I do not misspell my own email address, there are others who do and I'm not getting your emails.

Thanks!

Aimee

Dog Days of Summer

Not much happening, but the following:

- In August, Aimee's friends Julie and Sandy are throwing a baby shower with my Mom. Aimee's Mom is coming in from Texas. We are looking forward to it.

- We think we have decided on a name for our little toots. Naming dogs is easier.

- We saw "Mama Mia" yesterday. Hmm. Not bad...but not great.

- It's too hot outside.

- Since I haven't had time to buy razors, I have a beard. I am thinking of shaving it down to a stache.

- Our friend Vincent stayed with us this past week. He accompanied me on my morning and evening dog walks. I think that deep down, he may just like dogs.

- Lately, I've been reading articles related to the economy.

- I hate going to the grocery store, but have been going a lot lately. Well, not a lot, but for me it is. Aimee is pregs so she gets special treatment. Don't get used to it.

- Lately, I've been looking up cars on the Internet. Good gas mileage is favorable, but not when safetey is an issue.

- I got a hair cut today. The lady who cut it accussed me of self cuttage because it was all kinds of lengths and the back was growing into a mullet. I confessed immediately. I haven't had the time to get it cut. I gave her a good tip. Yes, I sometimes cut my own hair.

- I appreciate air conditioning.

Aimee entertains herself

With the impending arrival of a new family member, we are ever so slowly getting our house in order. On Saturday, we finished our guest room. As a team, Aimee and I installed a new set of blinds. Aimee chose special "block out the sun" blinds to prevent the morning light from awakening a sleeper too early. We both felt very pleased with our efforts: no clutter, new bedding, new mattress pad, new fixtures and the new blinds. Visually, the room is uncluttered and modestly decorated. It's nice. As we walked out of the finished room, I did not know that Aimee was not yet finished.

Later in the day, I took a shower in order to get ready for a dinner in Bethesda with our friend (and my colleague) Vincent, who is currently in town from Paris. He was staying with us for the evening, and his visit gave us more of a reason to finish the room. As I left the bathroom, I noticed Aimee in the hall, standing lopsided, like a drunken homeless man. She stood this way because she was trying to control her laughter. She had a smirk on her face. Did you see the guest room? Go take a look! I added a picture (trying to act non chalant, yet as transparent as glass).

I walked over to the guest bedroom, and took a look. Nothing seemed out of place: a bed, a night stand, a painting on the wall. Then, I looked at the night stand. On the night stand and next to a candle, sat a framed picture. Just one picture in the entire room. The framed photo was a picture of me ..like a head shot. As I shook my head, I envisioned Vincent setting down his bags, taking a look around the room and noticing that the only framed photo in the room was a picture of me smiling.

Aimee walked around the hall for a good minute and giggled while trying to keep herself upright. It's clear that it is much more difficult for a very pregnant woman to remain standing on two feet while laughing. I wasn't sure if I was more amused by the picture or by Aimee's sheer delight in her little project. This wasn't a quick job. She had to think about it, find an appropriate photo, and place it in a nice frame with a goal of completing her task before I walked out of the bathroom.

When Vincent walked in the room, he saw the humor as well. Then he immediately picked up the frame and turned it face down on the end table.

Aimee's Love Notes

Evidently, Aimee has something against coffee grinds in the sink. Nice penmanship!

Aimee also prefers her toothpaste tube to be capped 24 hours a day. Her message is simple: "Toothpaste"

Aimee thought these attached twin cherries looked like a butt, so she took a picture.

Finally, a picture that demonstrates the comfort level of Darla.

Talk about a "Baby Bump"

Lookee here. Someone is growing.



Growing..and kicking! The little bugger kicks pretty much all the time. Not only does she kick, but she responds to voices. I put my hand on Aimee's tummy and say.."Kick!" The little growing person kicks on queue..with force..like Pele.

Are we ready? Of course not. Looking forward to the craziness? Absolutely.

My Dad's Baseball Hats in South America

Well, my brother Tim has begun to carry out his quest described here.

He left for South America with a bunch of my Dad's baseball caps. Now, he has started to give them away as gifts to people he meets along the way. The rule is for each hat he gives away, he takes a picture. Well, here we go!

A picture of a house to give some perspective.

A new UConn Fan. Go Huskies.

I think that is a Holy Cross hat. Not sure.

University of Virginia Cavaliers? Don't even get me started.

As far as this 'inter-cultural sharing of outer wear', Aimee and I experience it in our own front yard. In our little Cul Du Sac, there are quite a few Korean families. These are families are new to the United States and rent in our little hood of townhomes.

Yesterday evening, I was walking the dogs (like I always do) and came up on a Korean neighbor. He was a middle aged man in flip-flops, black socks, and a Tee Shirt that sported a Green Clover which read: "Kiss Me I'm Irish." No joke. If I had a camera on me, I would have asked to take his picture...Priceless! I am also not joking about taking pictures of neighbors. Just ask Aimee.